i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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