There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
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I think I sprained my soul last night
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
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WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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