im having a threesome with these popsicles
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize