If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
