I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
