i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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