You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize