I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
