I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
