i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
