I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
