I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
