I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
