he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
