i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Will exercising make me less horny?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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