I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
