I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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