never play flip cup with pint glasses
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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