Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
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It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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