RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I did not marry a roomba.
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