Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
