if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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