Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
