You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
