ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
