if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
