ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize