do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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