I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
