Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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