...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
