Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
