Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
