It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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