Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am in a vortex of obligation.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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