Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
