If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
if only i could text you this smell
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
