I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
