he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
