No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
