My room smells like vodka and shame
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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