So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
