This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
