she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
