Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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