The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
