You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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