I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
