You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
