is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Text me some of your sweat
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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