There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
