Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
