Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
