please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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