we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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