what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
