im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
