I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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