So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Mom said you looked used
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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