Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
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Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
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Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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