if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
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Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
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Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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