She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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