I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
