ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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