we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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