idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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