I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
